“Omen, il presagio.” ovvero, dio, la bestia , o chi per loro, strafulmini i remake
Non se ne può più, il cinema è definitivamente alle cozze!
La storia è nota e arcinota quindi non vi tedierò riportandovela.
Tanto è ripresa pari pari dal film originale.
Vi segnalo solo alcune chicche che io e alcuni amici ci siamo trovati a commentare:
Damien
L’attore che lo impersona è un bambino tutto d’un pezzo; una faccia da sberle, due occhi da cedrarlo seduta stante, un sorriso antipatico, una flemma da pigliarlo a calci in culo sulla pubblica via.
A metà fra l’autistico, il monello di Charlie Chaplin, e il bimbo sottocasa che vi viene a torturare e uccidere per divertimento il cane o il gatto.
Psicopatico.
Viene da prenderlo e sbatterlo in cella con il mostro di Firenze, quello di Milwakee, e Hannibal Lecter,
intimando a tutti e tre che, finchè non avranno fatto il loro dovere conciandolo per le feste, non avranno la loro ora di aria al giorno.
E nemmeno la merenda.
Mia Farrow
Nel film è la tata. A metà fra la figura della tata nel film “The Nanny” magistralmente interpretata dall’inquietante Bette Davis, e quella leziosa di “Mary Poppins” della tintissima Julie Andrews.
Ora, io capisco che occorra ammantare questa figura di un alone perverso e ok.
Capisco che la si voglia rendere più seducente sciogliendole i capelli e va bene.
Posso chiudere un occhio sull’audace tentativo di renderla ‘più giovane’ con un trucco da strega ad hoc mettendo in gioco tutta la maestria di un truccatore di certo pagatissimo
ma p.d!
se volete fare tutto questo, fatele anche un lifting alle mani; è decrepita, E SI VEDE!!!
Il papà di Damien
C’è crisi, la disoccupazione è alle stelle, i problemi del mondo anche,
e nel film mi mettete un ambasciatore americano di 34 anni?!
ma ci pigliate per il culo?
L’unico personaggio del film che dovrebbe conquistarsi la nostra simpatia (e in cui ci dovremmo in parte immedesimare) parte sfigato in partenza.
Scegliete un attore con una decina di anni in più, o se non si può, invece che il lavoro dell’ambasciatore dategli un contratto CO.CO.CO!
Basta quello a presagire la venuta dell’anticristo..
La mamma di Damien
Non so dove ho già visto la faccia schiacciata di questa attrice, ma sono sicuro di averla avuta sulle palle anche dopo aver partecipato alla visione di una sua interpretazione precedente.
Fatto sta che nel film vive in una reggia principesca, una dimora di svariati piani, il lusso c’è e si vede….
ma porco diaz!
Possibile che non ha un cazzo di filippina, una giovane albanese, una donna a ore?
No!
Sta scema che fa? sale sulla sedia, a ridosso della ringhiera delle scale del terzo piano della sua mastodontica abitazione, e per che cosa? Per spruzzare di acqua le piante.
Cretina!
Non mi meraviglia che nel film ti abbiano estinta.
Oltretutto con un monopattino, proprio mentre spruzzicchiavi le piante.
Se questo è il quoziente di intelligenza per essere moglie di un ambasciatore,
ragazze, mettevi l’anima in pace;
c’è speranza per tutte!
Il vaticano
noi tutti a carnevale ci vestiamo meglio di questi vescovi e cardinali. e i nostri gioielli non sembrano così finti.
Di sicuro i porporati non si fanno così tante pippe mentali sull’Apocalisse, davanti alla figura di un papa ritagliata su quella del Vecchio Polacco.
Mancava Dan Brown, il prete del film “L’esorcismo di Emily Rose”, e un bicchiere di Lucano.
Americanata!
Italia
Questo, signori e signore, è un eccellente spaccato del nostro paese 
Non solo nelle nostre strade non si capisce un cazz
Non solo i tassisti italiani parlano tutti un italiano ‘minghione’ (sarei curioso di vedere il dialogo in lingua originale)
ma
udite udite
-nelle nostre piazze teniamo rigorosamente UNA suora (dalla faccia deturpata) a vendere croci e rosari in un banchetto di un metro per due, e, tutto attorno, il deserto.
- D’estate (i fatti risalgono presumibilmente a giugno, luglio, 2006) è noto che la neve ricopre Roma, Subiaco e Cerveteri nevicando con un curioso effetto all’insù (ovvero, la neve da terra, sale al cielo grazie a effetti speciali squalliderrimi)
- Le nostre sepolture constano di lapidi e lastre facilmente rimovibili (tzè.. avete mai provato a smuovere alcunchè nei cimiteri nostrani?) con nemmeno una bara, una cassa di legno economico all’interno;
Evidentemente secondo gli americani noi italiani sbattiamo direttamente le salme nude nelle fosse, poi tumuliamo con la cazzuola.
Il personaggio del film: il prete italiano.
Curiosa figura deforme (porca paletta! Ma una garza in faccia no?) da un occhio bruciato e un altro che se ne va per i fatti suoi (probabilmente con uno legge, con l’altro fa ripasso) assistito da -cosa vedono i miei occhi increduli- un giovane frate italiano (il parrucchierone biondo dello sceneggiato “Il bello delle donne”) dalla leggiadra mise in saio bianco latte (!)
La palma della comicità involontaria va a una scena in cui un chiosco ambulante di Subiaco, in un paesaggio innevato, offre spuntini e ristoro.
In alto, ben visibile, una insegna al neon scritta in italiano riporta la parola “Rinfresco”
…
La frase da ricordare; Nel cimitero di Cerveteri, profanando la tomba del figlio nato morto , e osservando all’interno lo scheletrino dello stesso (scheletrino una cippa; ha un testone che pare un mappamondo, e la struttura ossea di un bambino di 4-5 anni)
il protagonista dice:
“E’ il mio bambino, è morto, me l’hanno ucciso”
((Ciccio.. ma cosa pensavi ci avessero fatto 5 anni fa? Era logico che gli avessero dato il biglietto per il Gran Paese Dei Balocchi, no?))
ci sono altre chicche da segnalare ma al momento mi fermo qui, per non rovinarvi il divertimento di trovarne altre.
Conclusioni sul film: non c’è più religione.
Critica da spettatore; questo film, insieme ad altre opere del genere, ha , secondo me, portato nuovo interesse verso la religione da parte degli spettatori meno superficiali e più interessati e stuzzicati dai temi presentati, tanto da invogliarli a ricercare nuove e più fondate argomentazioni su quello che al cinema vedono passivamente.
(Il che, coi tempi di magra che vive la chiesa, le ha acceso addosso un nuovo riflettore di interesse di massa)
Insomma, da ‘Omen: il presagio’ a ‘Il Codice Da Vinci’ queste pellicole sono state, per il vaticano e i depositari della dottrina cattolica, più che una pericolosa menzogna, una vera mano santa!
Fiore
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